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Rank: Advanced Member  Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/10/2009 Posts: 653 Location: Notts
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What a wonderful, moving service, Amanda, I'm sure you were all much comforted by it.
Please try and look after yourself now, and get some rest if you can.
Love Lyn
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Rank: Advanced Member  Groups: Registered
Joined: 3/8/2010 Posts: 914
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Hi Amanda,
What a lovely but sad posting, the death of a child is heartbreaking, and my thoughts go to her parents who must be really devastated. Are the family relatives or friends, your family sounded so supportive to them. Do look after yourself too, you do not sound like your having an easy time of it. Hugs to all of you, thinking about you all Lorna xx
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Rank: Advanced Member  Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/3/2009 Posts: 1,582 Location: Oxfordshire
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Thank you again. I am trying to very slowly ease down on all the meals and visiting although I did make them a huge chili for Wednesday's dinner. They have definitely cooked once for themselves this week and I popped in on Thursday and haven't been there today.
We are hoping to have them all here on Sunday for a big BBQ! Hoping this will give them a change of scenery.
The inquest was on Weds - they met the coroner and police and pathologist. Emma said it was so offical and medical it was very upsetting indeed. She had to explain how she found Marianna etc. They were told that no one yet knows exactly what cot death is but there are over 20 contributory factors- and all cot deaths have a few or a couple of these. They are never the same. Emma asked if there is a higher chance this may happen to any other childrne she may have and he said no, there is no research to show this at all.
She was given back her duvet they took from her that shocking Thursday morning and some other things from her bedroom BUT and this is unbelievable they have 'mislaid' the very top Marianna was wearing. I find this a disgrace. The one thing Emma wanted and needs back, the item her precious baby was wearing! And they've lost it!
Much love,
Amanda
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Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered
Joined: 3/8/2010 Posts: 914
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Amanda
That is so sad, but they may have had to cut it off the baby bless her. They wouldn't have actually said that. I do hope that this was not the case and she gets it back. One can only begin to imagine what these poor people are going through. My heart goes out to them, do look after yourself too, you sound like you are doing so much and with your own children too you must be exhausted. Thinking about you all. Lorna xx
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Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/3/2009 Posts: 1,582 Location: Oxfordshire
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Hi Lorna,
They did cut her vest which Emma has actually still got as she put it in her bag and they never asked her for it. I had meant to say it is the babygro which has gone...and they promised her she would have it returned..
It is just too tragic for words, each time I see them I am in awe of how they are managing at all. I haven't the heart to stop the meals yet either although I know for their own good I must cut it down..
Much love,
Amanda
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/3/2009
Posts: 585
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Amanda
that is just bl++dy awful loosing the very top Emma needed back
sorry I am so mad
how could they have lost it? is the room that big
I am sorry for going off on one here
I wonder if the same thing happened to them (God forbid) how they would feel?
I am so very angry all of you have gone through enough you really do not need this
I cant write any-more on this subject I feel I am going to explode
you take care Amanda
Mary L
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Rank: Advanced Member  Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/4/2009 Posts: 856
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Bless you Amanda
You are such a wonderful friend to them.They are very blessed to have you
Look after yourself though
Maria x
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Rank: Advanced Member  Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/3/2009 Posts: 1,110 Location: London
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Amanda, I am so sad they have lost the babygro Marianna was wearing, it would be such a comfort for Emma and Andy to have it returned. I am sure they are so grateful to you for your caring and bringing meals etc, they wouldnt have known what to do without you. But, yes, its time to let them begin to try and do normal things, like cooking etc. I'm sure its the last thing on their minds, but if you just gently mention that you are not able to cook "tomorrow" they will begin to try it themselves. I do so hope the babygro turns up, and that they can begin to come to terms with their awful bereavement. Thinking of you too Amanda, and hoping you are taking care of yourself too x x x BARBARA
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Rank: Advanced Member  Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/3/2009 Posts: 1,740
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Amanda aww that is sad they gone lost such precious part of emmas daughter clothing,yes sure cartn be easy to need to cut down helping out bbq sounds lovely. such a clinical inquest,poor emma hubby. much lv to u melly cuddly cats make my world seem so much more fun
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Rank: Advanced Member  Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/3/2009 Posts: 3,006 Location: Timperley
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This is so upsetting and something which should never have happened. Of course they are distraught - poor souls have gone through enough already without this added hurt.
Love to you all
Jeanxxxx
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Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/3/2009 Posts: 1,582 Location: Oxfordshire
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We had the whole family here for a BBQ today in the burning sun! It was great fun and they told us how nice it was to be out of their house for a while. (I was hoping this would be the reaction).... The children all had water fights and ate ice creams and went for little walks...
Just after Marianna died I set up a fund for them as I knew the funeral, and head stone would cost a fortune and this was the last thing they should be worrying over. I sent an e/mail to friends who sent it on etc, and today we gave them the cheque which has amounted to the wonderful sum of £1, 850!!!!!!! They were astounded! I had made a card for them and written all the contributor's names and they were just so overwhelmed!
They see the undertaker this week to discuss the head stone and now can have whatever they like..
Love,
Amanda
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Rank: Advanced Member  Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/3/2009 Posts: 561
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O Amanda that was a lovely idea of yours ,what good people they are donating all that money and now the family can get what they want for Marianna , glad the bbq went well too ,
Sophie x
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Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/3/2009 Posts: 1,740
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Thats so lovely Amanda, bbq sounds great,aww ice creams,water play time. you take care melly cuddly cats make my world seem so much more fun
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Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/3/2009 Posts: 3,006 Location: Timperley
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Bless you for your kindness and thoughtfulness...it will be so much appreciated.
xxxxxxx
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Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/3/2009 Posts: 1,110 Location: London
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A,manda, so glad they had a nice break from the house and that the children all had fun. How amazing, to raise so much money for the funeral!!! They must be overwhelmed by that. It makes so much difference to them not to have that worry, how generous people are!! You are such a true friend to them to arrange all this too x x BARBARA
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Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/4/2009 Posts: 856
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Amanda- you are a star!!!!!!Well done for raising so much money.
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Rank: Advanced Member  Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/3/2009 Posts: 3,157 Location: Huddersfield
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Wow well done Amanda for raising such a fantastic amount!
It's lovely that they will now be able to buy a headstone of their choice for little Marianna.
Love, Doreen xx
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Rank: Advanced Member  Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/3/2009 Posts: 1,689 Location: Durham
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Oh Amanda, what a wonderful and kind thing to do! Well done on raising such a lot of money. Kathleen x
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Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/3/2009 Posts: 1,582 Location: Oxfordshire
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Thank you! We had two more donations come in today so the fund keeps rising.
It is truly marvellous how kind and generous people are.
Love,
Amanda
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Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered
Joined: 3/8/2010 Posts: 914
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Amanda, What a lovely thing to arrange, the couple truly have an angel in you. You are a star  Love Lorna xx
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